


You Are My Sunshine

by bringmesomepie



Series: In the Spirit of Song [21]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Big Brother Dean, Bottom Dean, Castiel is a Sweetheart, Castiel is a Winchester-Novak, Castiel-centric, Character Death, Dean is a Sweetheart, Dean is a Winchester-Novak, Dean-Centric, Depressed Dean, Depression, Domestic Castiel/Dean Winchester, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Roller Coaster, Emotionally Hurt Dean Winchester, F/F, F/M, Feels, Gen, History Teacher Dean, Hurt Dean Winchester, Hurt Sam, Implied Castiel/Dean Winchester, Little Brother Sam, M/M, Protective Castiel, Sad Castiel, Sad Castiel/Dean Winchester, Sad Dean, Sad Ending, Songfic, Top Castiel, You Are My Sunshine, lawyer cas
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-23
Updated: 2016-01-23
Packaged: 2018-05-15 15:19:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,894
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5790484
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bringmesomepie/pseuds/bringmesomepie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You are my sunshine, my only sunshine<br/>You make me happy when skies are grey<br/>You'll never know, dear, how much I love you<br/>Please don't take my sunshine away<br/>~ version by Johnny Cash</p>
            </blockquote>





	You Are My Sunshine

He thought his husband was a goof. His husband was a 32 year old man who was singing off key and dancing off beat around their apartment in a worn out Black Sabbath t-shirt and boxers to Any Way You Want It by Journey.

 _“Any way you want it, that’s the way you need it, any way you want it, she said, any way you want it, that’s the way you need it, any way you want it…”_ His husband sang without a care in the world.

Damn, he loved that man. He smiled and shook his head as he went back to working on his laptop. “Hon, do you think you have danced and sang enough? Don’t you have papers to be grading?”

“I’m taking a break. Why don’t you take one too, and dance with me?” He pouted.

“I have to get these case reports done by the morning. You also have to grade those tests, Mister.”

“But you know how much I hate grading test, Cas…” Dean moaned flopped on his stomach on the couch beside his husband.

“You’re half way done, Dean. You know better than to procrastinate.” Dean sat up facing Cas. He started kissed his shoulder and up Cas’s neck. He moaned. Dean snaked his hand up Cas’s plain white t-shirt. “No, Dean, I can’t deal with this right now. I need to work.”

“Come on, Baby. Take a breather. You’ve been working since you got home from work.” Dean pouted.

Cas turned his head to stare at his husband directly in the eyes. “I’ll cut you a deal. When you are done grading the rest of the tests I’ll fuck you until you are past satisfied, but you can’t fly through the grades. I want those tests graded strictly and accurately, Mister.”

Dean pouted. “Fine, but when you’re fucking me, can I pull out the 10 foot pole that’s jammed up your ass?”

“For the last time, it’s not a pole, it’s my bosses head.” Cas shook his head. “I’ll tell you I better get that promotion in 6 months.”

“You will, Baby. No one is a better ass kisser than you.” Dean suddenly became extremely interested in grading as he said that remark.

“Hell yes I am. I would give my boss a blow job if it meant getting that promotion.” Cas kept typing.

Dean grunted. “That’s not something you tell your husband of 10 years.”

“I would take that old man’s cock and just deep throat it and just let him fuck my face. He’s cum down my throat and I’d swallow every drop and he would scream my name and just give me the promotion on a silver platter.”

“Oh God, I hate you.” Dean hid his face in his hands.

“Revenge is a dish best served cold.” Cas smiled.

The phone rang and Dean reached over and picked it up and brought it to his ear. “Winchester-Novak’s.” Cas glanced over and watched Dean smiled and chuckled. “Hey Baby Mama, How’s Baby girl and Mama Bear doing?”

Right away Cas knew it was Charlie. Dean worked with Charlie’s wife Jo. Dean and Jo were like brother and sister. Technically they were. When Dean’s parents passed away when he was 4 and his brother, Sam was 6 months old they were had been taken in by a few foster parents, but it was nothing permanent until Dean turned 10 and Sam was 6 they were brought into the Harvelle-Singers home. Dean and Jo, Ellen and Bobby Harvelle-Singer’s daughter, were the same age and even came out as gay to Bobby and Ellen at the same time. Jo was Dean’s best man at his and Cas’s wedding and Dean was Jo’s maid of honor at hers and Charlie’s.

Soon the time came when Charlie and Jo wanted to start a family. They tried adoption but Charlie wanted to experience pregnancy. That’s where Dean comes in. Dean’s sperm and Charlie’s egg, mixed in a dish and set in the oven to bake and you get a baby.

Needless to say, but Dean was obsessed with Charlie’s pregnancy. Cas could watch Dean smile and laugh all day. “Ok, Char, me and Cas will come over Saturday for dinner. Well, Friday Sammy and Jess are flying in from California.”

“Dean, you have work you need to do.” Cas remarked not looking at Dean.

Dean laughed. “Alright, see you then, Charlie. Bye.”

“Seriously, Dean, get to work.”

“Fine, fine. Just remember sex is still on the table.” Dean pointed. He began skimming over the test flipping back and forth from the key to the test and put a letter grade at the top. “Did I tell you Sam is getting transferred here?”

“Yeah, you did. It’s wonderful. The Winchester boys are reunited.” Cas smiled.

_*** &^%$#%^&*()*&^%$#%^&*()_** _

“Done!” Dean pumped his fists in the air. “Fuck yes! I’m done!”

“Hold on a minute, Mister. I’m on my last paragraph.” Cas typed.

Dean jumped up from the couch. “I’m getting laid, on a weekday! It’s a Tuesday and I’m getting fucked!”

“You say that like it’s not a normal thing.” Cas smirked.

“It’s not. Ever since we got out of college we have been work, work, work, on weekdays where we normally just crash on the couch watching movies…or if we are in the mood a slow hand or blow job, but tonight you are gonna fuck me so hard that my voice is gonna be so hoarse and gone from the screaming.”

“You have really thought into this.” Cas set his laptop on the coffee table.

Dean groaned. “Casssss, I’m horny and just staring at you is making me hard.”

“You’re such a horn dog.” Cas rose to his feet. Dean wrapped his arms around Cas’s waist and pulled him in close. “How did I end up with you?”

“Cause I’m a horny bastard for you. I was never like this before I fell in love with you.” Dean kissed down Cas’s neck.

“Yeah, Mr. Imma hunt for as much tail as I can find throughout the first year of high school.” Cas laughed.

“It was always one and done with those girls and guys. I made a promise to you on our first date our sophomore year. I stayed celibate for you. I never pressured you to have sex, you never told me when we would finally have sex. I was ok with that. I stayed with you after we finally did… _make love_ , it wasn’t just a good fuck. I always came back for more.” Dean lightly nipped at Cas’s lip.

Cas smiled and gently placed his hands on either side of Dean’s neck. “Tell me more about how much you love me.”

“You let me be my stupid self. It’s not every day that people tolerate my bad dancing and _very_ bad singing.” Dean smiled.

“You have a beautiful voice when you aren’t on purposely making it off key.” Cas protested. “The dancing on the other hand…I can’t help you there.”

“Tell me how much you love me.” Dean flicked his eyes from Cas’s lips to his eyes.

Cas kissed Dean’s lips softly. He guided Dean to the bedroom of their small apartment. “You’re writing your own story. You were destined to be an old drunk in an old house with the kind of back story you have, but you changed it. You made a name for yourself. Dean Winchester, married, Kansas University grad with a Masters in History Education. The Dean Winchester I met in 5th grade was gonna end up working with Bobby at the Savage yard and never go to college.”

Dean kissed his husband. “Fuck, Cas. You’re making me feel like some kind of important person.”

“You are an important person, Dean.”

“No more click flick moments, please.”

Cas pushed Dean onto the bed and began to unbutton his shirt as Dean crawled to the head of their small bed and strip down to just his boxer briefs. “Hon, I know this is sexy time but I was just thinking…if Sam and Jess are staying with us for a little while, where are they gonna sleep? We live in a small one bedroom apartment with a tiny couch that doesn’t pull out.”

Dean smiled. “Sammy and I didn’t have a lot growing up. They won’t care about having to deal with what we got. Since they are our guest Sammy and Jessica can take our bed and you can curl up on the couch and I’ll take the floor.”

“This is why I say we need to start a family.” Cas crawled up on the bed in his tightie-whities.

“I want a family, but we both know that can’t happen just yet. We can barely afford what we have. Why do you think we set aside a portion of our salaries?” Dean ran his hands down Cas’s arms. “I love how concerned you are towards our families.”

“Well, Sam is like a brother to me, I mean he is my brother-in-law, but I’ve know the guy since he was 6.” Cas began to pull off Dean’s underwear. “God, Dean, you are so beautiful.”

“I was gonna say the same thing to you.” Dean just watched as Cas stripped himself of his briefs and grabbed the lube from the bedside table. “Fuck, I’m so ready.”

The blue eyed man lather his two finger and teased Dean’s awaiting hole. Dean was shaking with anticipation. “That’s right, Baby, unravel right in front of me.”

Dean panted as Cas slowly eased his fingers inside and rocked them back and forth. “Fuck…”

Cas slid in a third finger and sped up. He smiled as he watched his husband digging his nails into the flesh of the unders of his thigh that were holding his legs up with his head tilted back, eyes closed and mouth gaping. “Absolutely stunning…”

Dean actually whimpered and stared at Cas with an expression that he could only describe as betrayed puppy when Cas pulled his fingers out. They kept the eye contact. Cas smirked and lathered up his cock and guided it inside Dean’s inviting slick hole. He passionately kissed Dean’s lips until they were swollen and pink. They had a nice rhythm Cas thrusted at fast and strong pace and Dean rocked his hips on beat.

“Fuck, Dean, I love you so much.” Cas gasped and kissed Dean’s open mouth.

Dean moaned and ran his fingers from Cas’s biceps to his neck. “I love you more.”

“Not possible.” Cas panted. Dean was too far gone. “Breathtaking.”

He watched Dean lifted his arm up to his face and run his finger through his hair and leave them in the dirty blonde mane. The other hand wrapped itself around Dean’s shaft and pumped to the beat of Cas’s thrusts. Dean opened his eyes to reveal that his green orb were completely gone; his pupil were blown with lust. Cas could only imagine that he looked the same. “I’m gonna come.”

“Yes, yes, yes, fuck…” Cas moaned as Dean came on his chest on long string. He came in second inside Dean.

Cas pulled out and laid down on his side and watched Dean grab his discarded underwear and clean the mess off his chest and toss them aside; not wanting to get up at that moment. He turned over so the couple were facing each other. They stayed there in a comfortable silence for a long time. Dean played with Cas’s fingers. “I love you, forever and always.” Dean spoke softly.

It was a phrase Dean said only when they were alone. Cas never knew if it was because it was very sappy or a chick flick moment, but it was something that only Cas knew Dean said. Made the mood even more romantic in his opinion. “And I you” was always Cas’s response. That always put a smile on Dean’s face.

_**(* &^%$#%^&*(*&^%$%^&**&^** _

Cas was in a good mood. It was a Wednesday and he got home before 9. He unlocked the apartment door and expected Dean to be cooking, eating or playing video games since it was only 6. He was greeted at the door by a faint sound of a guitar.

He followed the music to the open patio door. Cas propped against the door frame. Dean had just finished a song Cas was not familiar with. The man effortlessly transitioned into his next song that Cas knew all too well…

 _‘The other night, dear, as I lay sleeping, I dreamt I held you in my arms. When I awoke, dear, I was mistaken, So I bowed my head and I cried.’_ Dean sang beautifully. Cas was always amazed and amused that Dean could sing perfectly, but most of the time he would purposely sing like he was tone deaf. _‘You are my sunshine, my only sunshine. You make me happy when skies are grey. You'll never know, dear, how much I love you. Please don't take my sunshine away.’_

Cas closed his eyes and just listened to Dean play his guitar and sing the rest of the song. The song was reaching the end when Cas decided to walk onto the porch and sit down. Dean about jumped out of his skin when Cas sat down. He forced him to stop playing. “Don’t stop playing.”

“I can’t playing when my heart skipped a beat and I almost shit myself.” Dean ran a hand through his hair and let out a deep breath. “Fuck, Cas, how long had you been standing there?”

“I came in when you had just started playing You are my Sunshine.” Cas smiled. “You don’t have to stop playing.”

Dean set his guitar down. “I actually do, Sweetcheeks. It’s like when you scared me started something moving, now I’m gonna take a piss then a dump.”

“So romantic.” Cas rolled his eyes.

“Hey, you knew that me and a few other co-workers had Mexican food for lunch.” Dean pointed as he entered the bathroom and shut the door.

Cas smirked and walked back into the small apartment and sat down on the couch and finished up the little bit of work he had to do. 20 minutes later Dean emerged from the bathroom. “Dean, did you remember to—“

“Yes, Mom, I did light a scented candle.” Dean rolled over the back of the couch and onto the cushion and laid his head in Cas’s lap. “Why are you home so early? I wasn’t expecting you until 9ish.”

“A meeting was cancelled this afternoon so that took 3 hours off my schedule so I was able to leave work early.” Cas combed his fingers through Dean’s hair.

“Why didn’t you call t let me know?”

“And let you hide your secret lover, Claude, the dead hooker, Chasity, and your guitar. I don’t think so.” Cas laughed.

Dean smirked then his smile faltered. “Yeah, my guitar.”

“Why don’t you play it when I’m around anymore? I have to sneak around to listen to you play and sing. You know I think you have an amazing voice and a beautiful way of playing.”

“If I play it all the time it will lose its appeal and it won’t be special anymore.” Dean shrugged.

Cas smiled. “You know, you are absolutely right.”

“Hell yeah, I’m right.” Dean smiled brightly. Cas snorted and covered Dean’s face with a pillow. “I’m right!”

“Shut up, Asshole.” Cas laughed as Dean’s cell started ringing. He grabbed it and accepted the call from Sam. “Hey Sam, It’s Cas. Dean is unable to come to the phone because he is an asshole and his face is under a pillow.”

Dean struggled underneath the pillow and mumbled. “Give me the phone, Castiel!”

“Then give me a concert Saturday night.”

“Fine!” Cas released the pillow and Dean gasped. “Fuck! It was getting humid in there.”

“You better keep your promise, Mister.” Cas handed the phone over.

“Yes, Mom.” Dean brought the phone to his ear. “Hey Sam.”

_‘Listening to you and Cas bicker like an old married couple amuses me.’_

“Why did you call, Sammy? You should be packing. You get here Friday afternoon.” Dean leaned on Cas.

_‘Jess and I packed the last box. It is gonna be driven to Lawrence Friday morning. It should get there Sunday or Monday. I promise, Dean, that me and Jess are only gonna crash at your place for a few days.’_

“Stay as long as you need. I know Mine and Cas’s place is small, but we can make due.” Dean craned his neck to look at Cas.

_‘I don’t understand why you and Cas decided to stay at that apartment. With Cas’s salary alone you could buy a house of your own, a big one at that.’_

“I’m sorry that the way me and Cas decide to spend our money confuses you, Sammy.” Dean shook his head. “We don’t mind living here. We have a plan for the future. We start saving up for when we decide to start a family. We have a portion set aside in case of an emergency and another portion is invested, than another is the start of a college fund when we decide to have kids, which will happen. Even after that Cas’s salary still doubles mine, we choose to not spend a lot.”

_‘I’m sorry, dude. That’s not what I meant. That is a smart move. I was just calling to let you know that me and Jess are ready to go.’_

“I’m glad. I can’t waiting for you to get here.” Dean smiled.

_‘Do you think we could get a flight earlier?’_

“No way, someone has to be there to make sure the movers know how to get from point A to point B.” Dean smirked. “I’ll be waiting at the airport Friday afternoon after school.”

_‘It’s been too long, Dean. I’ve missed you. I can’t wait to be back in Lawrence.’_

“I’ve missed you too, Sammy. Tell Jess I said hey.”

_‘Will do. I’ll talk to you later. Bye Dean.’_

“Bye Sammy.” Dean hung up and looked up at Cas again.

Cas kissed Dean’s forehead. “How about a movie?”

“Or…” Dean smiled. “We could skip the movie and go straight to the part where we are lying in bed breaking a sweat.”

Cas rolled his eyes. “Such a horn dog.”

“I’ll hump your leg. I swear I will, Castiel.” Dean sat up.

“Only if you watch Nova with me afterwards.” Cas pointed his finger at Dean.

The man groaned. “Fuck, Casss, don’t throw that on the table.”

Cas smirked. “Which will it be, Hon? Sex with Nova afterwards or No sex and a Chick Flick Movie of my chose.”

Dean whined. “As long as I get to have my way with you during the show.”

“Deal.”

_*** &^%$#$%^&*(&^%$#%^&*(&^** _

Dean’s personality at home was different than his personality as a teacher. As a teacher he was strict. He was a good teacher, nice, funny, but knew when the time to be goofy was and when to be serious. He never gave group assignments and never accepts late work for full credit. For each day it was late he marked down a letter grade and that counted during the weekend.

Some students call him a hardass and try to break him but none have been able to. Most people learned to do as they are told and turn things in on time and start to love him as a teacher.

His students were doing book work while he finished grading the class he didn’t tell Cas he hadn’t done yet. Suddenly his phone began to ring. He had forgotten to put it on silent. His class all looked up at their teacher. He answered the call. “Winchester-Novak?”

_“Hi, Dean, Hon, It’s Sheriff Mills. There has been an accident.”_

“Cas was in a wreck?” He looked at his watch. “He should be at work?”

_“No, it wasn’t Cas. The wreck was a few miles away from the airport. It was Sa--…It was Sam.”_

Dean inhaled sharply. “Sam? Sam wasn’t supposed to be here until tomorrow. How bad was it? Is he ok?”

 _“It was bad.”_ Sheriff Mill’s voice cracked. _“I don’t know how to tell you this, Dean.”_

“God, No, Jody…” Dean shook his head. “Please…”

_“Sam didn’t make it.”_

Dean closed his eyes and cleared his throat. “Where is he?”

_“Lawrence Medical. I called Jessica, she is on her way. Don’t worry, Dean. I paid for the ticket myself. Poor girl, shouldn’t have to.”_

“Thank you, Jody. I’ll go straight there.” Dean hung up and grabbed the school phone and called the office. “Hi, uhh—This is Mr. Winchester-Novak. I need someone to watch my class, pronto.”

_“What is going on, Mr. Winchester? I can’t just send someone to your class.”_

Dean pinched the bridge of his nose. “Ha, I just got a call…my brother just passed away.” He heard his class gasp and whisper. “I need to go to the hospital and the wreck sight.”

He hung up the phone and grabbed his stuff. “Mr. Winchester-Novak?” A girl spoke up.

“Yes?” He looked up.

“Are you gonna be ok?”

Dean cleared his throat. “Yeah, I’ll be fine. I’m just gonna take a few days off.” He walked out of the school and got in his car and drove to the other side of town to the hospital.

He sat in the hallway. Soon a doctor came up to him. “Dean?”

“Yes?” He stood.

“I can take you to see you brother.” Dean followed the doctor. They entered the morgue. Dean could instantly see his little brother. He was still wearing the clothes he was in during the crash Dean could only assume. “We have not done an autopsy yet. Sheriff Mills gave us orders to let you see him first.”

Dean nodded as he held back tears. “What will the autopsy prove? That my little brother was killed in a wreck?”

“We need to know if he was under the influence of drugs or alcohol.” The doctor answered robotically.

“Sammy is a lawyer. He doesn’t do drugs and Sammy is a one glass of white wine with his dinner guy. Not it’s 4 o’clock somewhere drinking bastard.” Dean growled.

“I’m sorry for your lose Mr. Winchester-Novak. I am only doing my job. We have to know who is at fault. The other man in the wreck is having his blood alcohol levels checked as we speak. If he was under the influence he will be charged and arrested.”

“What about Sammy? If that man wasn’t drunk and neither was Sammy, what happens?” Dean raised his voice. “Sam is a good kid. He wouldn’t be that stupid.”

The doctor placed his hand on Dean’s shoulder. “He is right through those doors. I will give you time to see him alone.”

“Thanks, Doc.” Dean closed his eyes and pushed open the doors. He took a deep breath and stepped over his brother. He inhaled sharply as he stared down at Sam. The boy’s lips were blue and his skin was drained of color. “You know, when we were little— and you couldn't been more than 5— you just started asking questions. How come we didn't have a mom? Why do we always have to move around? Where'd Dad go when he'd take off for days at a time? I remember I begged you, "Quit asking, Sammy. Man, you don't want to know." I just wanted you to be a kid... Just for a little while longer. I always tried to protect you... Keep you safe... Dad didn't even have to tell me. It was just always my responsibility, you know? It's like I had one job... I had one job...And I screwed it up. I blew it. And for that, I'm sorry. I guess that's what I do. I let down the people I love. I let Dad down. And now I guess I'm just supposed to let you down, too. How can I? How am I supposed to live with that? What am I supposed to do? Sammy. God. What am I supposed to do? WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO?”

He wiped away the tears and choked out a sob.

He touched Sam’s bloody face. It was cold. “Sammy. Shit, Sammy, you’re my weak spot. How can I move on from this? First, Mom, then Dad, now, you. I have no one left. How am I supposed to live with that?”

Something caught Dean’s eyes on Sam’s collar. It was a necklace under his shirt. Dean pull it out from under the material to reveal his amulet. Sam gave that amulet to Dean for Christmas, Dean gave it back when Sam moved to Sanford. Dean leaned down and pressed his face in his deceased brother’s chest and cried. “Sammy! You were going places! Why couldn’t it be me?!”

“Mr. Winchester-Novak…” The doctor answered. Dean’s gave out and he collapsed to the ground in tears. “I’m sorry, Mr. Winches—“

“How about you shut up?” Dean snapped up. He rose to his face and pointed his finger into the doctor’s chest. “This is my brother, you quack.”

The doctor tried to make himself smaller. “I need you to say your final goodbyes, Sir.”

Dean tried to Sam and took his brother’s cold, lifeless hand. “Fuck, Sammy. Save me a cold one upstairs.” As a final goodbye Dean took the amulet off Sam’s neck and around his. “There, Sammy.”

The doctor guided Dean out of the morgue and up to the main floor where Cas was waiting anxiously with wet eyes. Dean did his best to hold back his tears in front of his husband. Cas shot up from his chair and rushed over to Dean and gripped his husband’s forearms. “Dean?”

“I’m ok, Cas.” Dean nodded as they walked out. Sam’s funeral was gonna be Sunday. He was gonna be buried beside John and Mary.

The two drove separately home. Cas was first in the apartment. Dean slowly made his way into the living room. Cas came back with two water bottles. One glance at his husband and Cas dropped the bottle and ran over to Dean and pulled him into a hug. Dean nuzzled his face down into the crook of Cas’s neck and began to sob. “Shh, shh, it’s ok, baby. Let it all out.”

Dean pulled away. “I’m not ok. He’s gone, forever.”

“I know. How about you go lay down and try to sleep? I will make a few calls.” Cas rubbed Dean’s arms. He nodded and walked into the bed.

_**(* &^%$#@#$%^&*()_(*&^%$** _

Dean was forced to go back to work a week after Sam’s death. He woke up was dried tears stains on his cheeks and just completely drained of energy. He slipped on a plain white button down shirt and khakis and grabbed a random tie and threw it on. Cas had been awake for a little while and noticed Dean’s appearance. “Let me help you, Hon. Your tie is backwards and you should be wearing you black dress shoes.”

“Oh yeah, matching.” Dean mumbled.

Once he was dressed he walked into the bathroom and brushed his teeth and washing the tears off his face. He stared at his face until Cas came up behind him and wrapped his arms around Dean’s torso. “You’re gonna be fine at work today.”

“I don’t have a lesson plan. All I wrote down yesterday was lecture. Lecture what?” Dean mumbled.

“You’ll figure it out. Like you always do.” Cas fixed Dean’s hair. “I have to go to work, are you ok to drive?”

“I have to be, right.” Dean shrugged. Cas nodded and kissed Dean’s cheek. “I love you, Cas.”

“I love you, too.” Cas walked out of the apartment and Dean was shortly behind. He drove to the school and walked to his class. He sat down into the classroom that was filling with people. He ran his fingers through his hair as he felt his phone buzz in his pocket.

He clicked it. _‘Hang in there, Love. I’m taking a half day so I can be home around the time you get home. ~Castiel.’_

Dean set his phone on the desk and folded his arms on the surface and let his head fall into the pit. “Mr. Winchester-Novak?” He hear softly.

He lifted his head slowly. Ruby Cortese stood in front of his desk. “Yes, Ruby?”

“Are you ok? We all heard what happened in your third period last week.” She spoke softly with her eyes filled with concern.

“I’m fine, Ruby. Thank you for your concern, but I’m fine. Head to your seat, class is about to start.” Dean answered. She nodded and headed to her desk just as the bell rang. He did roll then stood. “Alright, everybody. The lovely Mrs. Visyak gave y’all the work I had assigned in my leave, so pass that up, right now.”

A hand was raised. “Mr. Winchester-Novak?”

“Yes?”

“Can we have a little extra time to finish the worksheets?”

Dean tilted his head. “Why didn’t yall complete the work?”

“It was a lot of work, sir.” Another kids replied.

“I also gave you two weekends and five school days to do all the work. That doesn’t explain to me why you didn’t do it all.” Dean pointed.

“We all only have one page left.” Another spoke for the class.

Dean nodded. “Fine. Ok, for the rest of class you can work on your worksheet and turn it in to me by the end of the period…and a two page paper about Alexander the Great.”

The class quickly dug through their book bags and binders. Dean wrote the objective for the paper on the board then turned around to the class to find them all looking at him. “Mr. Winchester-Novak, are you ok?” A boy asked with his hand raised.

“Will everyone just stop asking me that? Y’all have work you need to be doing, so don’t worry yourselves about me.”

“But you don’t look like yourself.” A girl asked, who was a friend of Ruby’s.

“Yeah, your third period said they heard your say your brother died. Apparently you’re not done grieving, so why are you back so soon?”

Dean huffed. He didn’t get to answer because the whole class started talking. “So are you really ok, Mr. Win—“

“Enough!” Dean snapped then clapped his hands together. “We’re gonna game, now. This is how it works. If anyone speaks I’m gonna write you up. Now get to work.”

The room was silence. Dean sat down in his chair and laid his head in his arms on his desk. The day dragged on. By the time school was over he was sitting in his class putting in all the zeros for people who didn’t turn in their work. He heard footsteps come towards him. He looked up and saw Jo. “Hey. You never came to the teacher’s work room for lunch.”

“Oh yeah. Shit, Jo. I’m sorry.” Dean shook his head.

“It’s ok. I understand. You’re still grieving. You should go home.” Jo sat down on Dean’s desk and took Dean’s hands.

“Tell me something good.” Dean pleaded.

Jo smiled. “The baby is starting to kick hard enough that I can feel it when I rub Charlie’s belly.”

“That’s good. That’s great, Jo.” Dean nodded and squeezed his foster sisters hands.

“Go home, brother. Kiss Cas for me, please.”

“I will.” Dean nodded as he stood from his chair. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

_*** &^%$#%^&*(*&^%$^&*()_** _

Cas was stunned when he got home and heard the sounds of Dean’s guitar. He followed the music back to the patio. He recognized the tone, but Dean wasn’t singing. He was playing You are my Sunshine again. This time Cas stepped out onto the patio and sat down beside Dean.

Dean had his eyes closed and just swayed to the music. It actually took Cas a long moment to realize that Dean had tears rolling down his face. Cas placed his hand on Dean’s knee. That made Dean’s expression form into a deep frown. A choked sob left Dean’s lips and he stopped playing.

He let go of the guitar and Cas caught it and set it aside then Dean crumbled into his husbands arms. Cas ran his fingers through Dean’s hair. “Shh, shh, that’s it, Hon. Let it all out. I’m right here. I’m not gonna leave you.”

Cas had never experience a family death before. He didn’t know what the right thing to say was and he could only imagine the pain Dean was feeling. He hated seeing his husband like this. He just wanted the man who would dance around in his boxers to the greatest hits of mullet rock and be the goofball Cas had grown to love.

He didn’t know a lot about how Dean’s parents died. Dean didn’t like to talk about it. What he did know was that Dean’s mom died when he was little and his Father died before Dean and Cas met. How they both died is a mystery for another time.

He had forgotten how long he had been sitting on the patio swing. He looked down at Dean to find that he had managed to fall asleep. Cas pulled out his phone and surfed the web so Dean could just peacefully sleep and not be in distress for a little bit.

_**(* &^%$%^&*()*&^%$#%^&*()** _

It had been five weeks since Dean came back to school after Sam’s…incident. To say the least, Dean was coping…or managing. His students learned to not question his orders and do as they are told. Needless to say Dean had turned into the teacher students hated, but were took scared to say anything. Dean had become a hardass teacher.

Outside of school everyone thought Dean was getting better. Well, until one Thursday when Cas came home early. Cas set his keys in the bowl by the door and set his briefcase and jacket in the living room. “Dean? I’m home.”

He heard the shower running. Cas sat down on the couch and flicked on the TV. He realized 30 minutes in Dean was still showering. He walked quickly to the bathroom door and jiggled the handle, locked, obviously.

“Dean? Is everything ok in there? You’ve been in the shower a really long time.” Cas tried to sound calm and jiggle the handle again. Cas backed up from the door. “Please, let this be accurate to the movies.”

He slammed his foot as hard as he could adjacent to the door knob on the door. Thankfully the door flung up and slammed against the wall. Cas stepped inside to find Dean fully clothed in the running shower with an empty bottle of Jack Daniels. Dean was drenched and getting pelted by freezing cold water drops. Cas quickly turned off the water. Dean snapped his eyes to Cas. “Why did you do that?”

Cas grabbed a towel and wrapped it around Dean. “Honey, you are freezing. Come on let’s get you out of these clothes and into the warm bed.”

“No!” Dean yelled. “This is where I needs to be. Why is it so hard?”

“Hon, you were doing so well.” Cas watched Dean leaned over until he was laying on his side in the draining tub. “You’ll feel much better dry and in bed.”

“I just wanna lay here.” Dean sobbed as Cas pulled of Dean’s shoes and socks.

“I know, Sweetheart. I’ll lay with you in the bed. You can tell anything until you fall asleep. Anything at all.” Cas sat Dean up and started to button Dean’s shirt.

The second Dean was naked he stood and stepped out of the tub and Cas dried him off. Cas helped his husband into fresh underwear then they both got into bed. Dean didn’t talk, he didn’t say a word. He just turned towards the bedroom window and stared out it. After a while he heard Dean sob into his pillow, but this time Dean pushed Cas away.

_*** &^%$#%^&*()(*&^%$%^&*()** _

Cas was startled awake 4 months later by Dean’s voice. He thought Dean was managing. The man had nightmares and was awake more than asleep. Cas was starting to see a little bit of Dean becoming more like himself again. It was a glimmer of hope. He had become less of a hardass at school and cried less, but he also talked less and kept to himself most of the time.

“Cas? Cas? Wake up.”

Cas groaned. “It’s Saturday morning, Dean.”

“Charlie had the baby. We were asleep and missed the call. I called Jo a few minutes ago and Charlie had literally just pushed out the baby. We have to go now.”

They was the most energetic Cas had seen Dean in month. “I’m going. Are they at the hospital?”

“No, they are at a birthing center about 10 minutes from here.” Dean smiled for the first time in months.

Cas smiled just at Dean’s smile. “Let’s go then.”

**_(* &^%$%^&*()*&^%^&*()_ **

Dean seemed so happy. He met the baby he helped make. A little boy. Jo and Charlie made the decision to name the infant Samuel Dean Bradberry-Harvelle. It was supposed to be a good thing. Dean seemed like he was happy.

It was a normal day when they got home. Cas decided that they were running low on food supplies so he went shopping. He was only gone for two hours.

He reached the apartment door with the last of the groceries and noticed a piece of paper on the kitchen table. He picked it up. _‘You’ll never know dear how much I love you. Please, don’t take my Sunshine away.’ –I’m going home, Cas… ~ Dean._

Cas looked around the apartment and realized it was oddly quiet. He stepped into the living and saw that their old record player was turned and the song was finished. Cas moved the needle and started the song again. The sounds of You Are My Sunshine filled the room.

He walked into the bedroom to find the bathroom light on and the door cracked. That when he noticed the puddle leaking out of the small bathroom and heard the running water. He flung open the door to reveal the bathtub filled to the brim, overflowing and in the tub with his jean clad legs hanging over the edge was Dean unconscious and submerged under the water. Cas gasped and darted to the tub and turned off the water and pulled his husband out of the tub. He laid Dean flat on his back and began CPR.

He did that for 30 minutes and nothing. He checked Dean’s pulse. The man’s lips were blue and he was ghostly pale. Tears rolled down Cas’s face as he stood up. He turned to the mirror and saw a letter. _‘I love you, Cas. I love you too much. I hated myself to see you have to deal with me. I’m broken. I feel empty inside. No matter how hard I try nothing seems to make me happy anymore. I hurt all the time. You were amazing, I can’t have asked for a better person to help me through my grieving. I’m sorry. I just could handle life without Sammy. I don’t know what was wrong with me. I just felt miserable and helpless. I hated myself. I hated who I was. I’m 90% crap and everyone I love either dies or worse. It’s better this way. I know you tried to fix me, but I was too broken to be fix. I love you, Castiel. Forever and Always.’_

Cas sobbed and rushed out of the room. Silence filled the air beside the sounds of the record player still playing music. _‘I've always loved you and made you happy, and nothing else could come between, but now you've left me to love another. You have shattered all of my dreams’_

He quickly pulled out his phone and dialed 911. Once he was off the phone he couldn’t bare to walk into the bathroom again. He slowly stepped into the puddled room and got on his knees and took Dean’s lifeless hand. “Why did you have to leave me, Dean? We were going to get through this together. You were doing so good.”

He leaned down and cried into his husband’s chest. He didn’t know how to feel. He had never experienced someone so close to him die. He never got to really know Sam. Only through phone calls and he met him off and on when him and Dean hung out in high school, then at his and Dean’s wedding. This was different. Dean was the love of his life and he lost him. Forever.

The paramedics and took Dean’s body after 10 minutes later. He stood in the empty apartment with tear tracks on his cheeks. The sound of the end of the song were playing. _‘_ _You are my sunshine, my only sunshine. You make me happy when skies are grey. You'll never know, dear, how much I love you. Please don't take my sunshine away.’_

“And I you, Mister Dean Winchester-Novak. Save me one upstairs with your family. I can’t wait to meet your family. I love you, Hon.” Cas walked onto the patio and sat down on the swing and closed his eyes. He just imagined Dean playing some classic rock song he didn’t know. “I miss you already, Dean.”

_******* _


End file.
